Minding the Child
Parents who are divorcing or separating do best when:
1. There is proper co-parenting.
2. Good communication between both parties
3. Staying "kid-focused" during conversations
4. Parent's learned to compromise and respect different opinions.
5. Giving kids space to adjust to transitions.
6. Have an established routine and staying consistent.
7. Establish a strong support network for yourself & your child.
8. Keep each other involved in the lives and events of both parties (birthdays, special holidays)
9. Legitimize the child's feelings during transition and encourage honesty.
10. Heal yourself first.
Parents who are divorced/separated should avoid?
1. Venting their negative feelings to their child
2. Using the child as a messenger
3. Exposing children to visible conflict, heated discussions, or legal talk
4. Strong disruption to the child's daily routine and personal space
5. Being secretive about what is happening entirely.
6. Stopping the other parent from seeing the child (depending on custody or visitation agreements)
7. Ignoring physical and verbal signs of distress from the child
8. Making promises you will not be able to keep.
9. Radically changing the family dynamic
10. Using your child as a weapon or turning them against the other parent